When and how do we release stored trauma?

By a somatic psychotherapist.

Trauma healing is all about softening into what’s here, and creating the conditions for allowing. The truth is — the body already knows how to heal. It already wants to heal. But we can’t simply choose when or how this will happen. We can’t force the process or demand it on our timeline. What we can do is set up the right conditions so the body feels safe and supported enough to let go in its own way, at its own pace.

It’s a common myth that we’ll go to a ‘trauma release class’, a breathwork or ecstatic dance, and have one huge, dramatic release that ‘clears it all’ on cue. Yes, you might release something — but healing isn’t an event we can summon at will. It doesn’t work like that. The body follows its own organic path when we give it the right mix of conditions: compassion, connection, softening, support and presence over time. More often, healing is a steady softening, an unfolding in layers. Like a flower, the body opens when the conditions feel right: warmth, care, protection, time. If we pry too hard, we risk doing more harm than good.

So what creates those conditions? A mix of psychotherapeutic practices and somatic tools — repeated gently, over and over again. Things like conscious breathing, gentle movement, mindfulness, parts work (IFS), emotional processing, and meditation all help your system soften and reconnect to your core self. The way you talk to yourself really, really matters. Your inner dialogue creates the environment your parts live in, all day, every day. Is it harsh and critical, or warm and forgiving? Your inner world is like a garden. The way you speak to yourself, the way you respond to discomfort — all of that is the soil your parts live in every single day. If that soil is harsh and unforgiving, the tender parts of you won’t come forward. If it’s soft and kind, they might peek out and share what they’ve been holding.

Real trauma release can look like tears, tremors, laughter, warmth, or an unexpected sigh. Or it might be a tiny shift you barely notice at first — a sense of space in the chest, an unravelling of tension in the belly. These small moments matter. Healing is not always dramatic; it’s often a quiet, steady becoming.

What’s important is that there’s a felt experience of something that was missing at the time of the original hurt — safety, connection, acceptance, kindness. This can’t just be thought through; it needs to be lived in the body.

One thing is true every time: release happens when the body feels safe enough to be with what’s stored inside. And what allows that? Presence, compassion and connection create the conditions of safety and support.

Your body wants to come home to itself. You’re allowed to help it do just that, one gentle moment at a time. It’s not linear, it’s messy, and it can be hard — but it is always moving towards healing. Even when we don’t notice big shifts, know that the river is still flowing and shifting beneath the surface.

Accessing healing is so much more natural and available than we think. It isn’t an intellectual process — though making sense of things with the mind can absolutely help. But real release and integration happens in the body’s language: sensations, images, emotional patterns, and the tone of our inner dialogue.

You don’t have to do this alone. Sometimes we just need a safe space and a steady, compassionate hand to walk alongside us — to remind us we’re not alone as we find our way home to ourselves.